The following sentence can be revised into one better sentence. Choose the sentence that is the best revision: I was at the fair.I got lost.I got scared.
Question
The following sentence can be revised into one better sentence. Choose the sentence that is the best revision:
I was at the fair. I got lost. I got scared.
Solution
To create a more cohesive and fluid sentence from the original fragments, you can connect the ideas logically. The revised sentence could be:
"While I was at the fair, I got lost and scared."
This revision effectively combines the three original sentences into one, maintaining the sequential flow of thoughts. It uses "While" to introduce the setting (the fair) and logically connects the experiences of getting lost and feeling scared as a consequence of that setting. The use of "and" also helps in smoothly linking the two resulting feelings into a single coherent statement. This type of revision enhances the clarity and impact of the narrative by minimizing abrupt shifts between ideas.
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